Simple Advice for Keeping Friends by Mr. Strauss

Its a new year and soo much to accomplish while everyone has their resolutions for this year, I want to share one that I learned last year. Sent from an Author I met in NYC last year his relationship advice is some of the best. so without futher ado lets get to it;

Start a list right now on your cell phone, iPad, journal, the back of a receipt, or wherever you keep notes. (It must be something you carry with you–not a desktop computer, for example.)

The list should be titled MY WORD.

And…

-Every time you tell someone you’ll send them a link or let them borrow something
-Every time you tell someone you’ll introduce them to a person or send them that person’s contact information
-Every time you promise to help someone or accompany them anywhere
-Every time you tell someone you will do anything for them, no matter how great or small

…write it down on your MY WORD list.

Then refer to that list at least once a week and follow through on each item.

Because the fact is, most people make promises that they really mean in the moment, but then minutes or hours later–because we can only hold seven pieces of information in our short-term memory–they completely forget having given their word to a friend or someone they work with.

But that other person, the one who was given the promise, doesn’t forget it. Because it’s something they really want or need help with, they store it in their long-term memory. And though you may have completely forgotten having mentioned it, they haven’t. And do you know what occurs after this happens once or twice or three times? You lose one of the most important things a friend or colleague or potential career connection needs: Trust.

And without trust, there can be no real relationship.

You may be reading this thinking that you don’t do this, but I can pretty much guarantee you that unless you have a system in place for keeping track of the promises you make people, you are forgetting some of them and damaging, even in a subtle way, important relationships.

In some cases, the person will remind you, and you may then follow through. But in more cases, the person whose trust you damaged will never even tell you this, because they don’t want to seem petty. After all, you were doing them a favor out of the goodness of your heart.

Conversely, because everyone does this to some degree, by being someone who FOLLOWS THROUGH on what they tell someone, you will stand out in their minds as exceptional, and gain not just trust but something even more rare: Integrity. And from that relationship, all kinds of great things will grow and blossom. You will get so much more back than you ever gave.

Before we wind this up, there’s a second step to add to being a person of integrity: Don’t make promises you don’t intend to or have time to keep. A lot of people, with the best of intentions, make promises to help others out. They do this often from a sincere need to gain the other person’s respect or approval (or avoid disappointing them). And in the moment, that’s what they get. But when they don’t deliver on that promise, they end up with the opposite outcome.

So start your list now.

In the book The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz the first law is to be Impeccable With Your Word. let that reinforce the document.

Finally, sometimes circumstances outside of your control prevent you from fulfilling a promise, so the solution is to let the person you’re talking to know this upfront so they understand the situation and are then doubly excited if you follow through and not disappointed if you can’t (and let them know you tried).

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One Response to Simple Advice for Keeping Friends by Mr. Strauss

  1. Very interesting subject, regards for putting up.

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