In Spite of Family and Friends

When you want to change yourself your friends and family are gonna hold you back… If you think “what will my friends think, what will people at work think,” your gonna lose…

So on this road to self improvement, you’re on your own path. They’re not gonna like it when you change they’re gonna tell you “Thats not you” its just not the you they’re used to seeing that made them feel good about themselves…
-Strauss

When I lost weight, I lost alot of my friends, my friends wanted me to stay fat, so they could feel comfortable about their own weight.”
-Oprah Winfrey

In my own experience I’ve seen that at many times the people who are closest  to you are the first to disapprove when you begin to change yourself. When people place you in a certain category and begin to see you acting differently they will not like it. It usually forces them to look at their own selves and what they have been doing wrong in their own lives, and the changes they themselves used to make.

“Be mindful of who you let in. You earn within $2- 3000 of your closest friends.”- Les Brown.

At this point I’m at a crossroads with my friendships. a mentor once said: “All relationships are based on Honesty Trust and Respect. If any of those are broken, then the relationship will not last. Theres a realization I’ve had that many friendships have simply been negative and holding me back from improving.

The truth is, the easiest thing to change is an opinion. At first your friends may disapprove of the change you’re making, but they will then grow to accept it. And if they don’t, then you should probably get new friends.

Bob Gass once said

Here are five types of (friends) you’ll encounter:

a) refreshers; who strengthen your faith and energise you

b) refiners; who sharpen you and clarify your vision

c) reflectors; who mirror your energy, neither adding to nor subtracting from it

d) reducers; who try to diminish your goals and efforts to their comfort level

e) rejecters; who don’t understand you or what God’s called you to do.

With this know and choose your friends wisely, and stay focused on improving. Their praise is less likely to get your head, and the negative impact of their criticisms will be minimized.

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2 Responses to In Spite of Family and Friends

  1. Eyob Moges says:

    It’s ironic how we tend to glamorize and strive for independence when our human condition subject’s us naturally to this somewhat symbiotic connection with our fellow man. Call it peer pressure, infancy, dependence but we can’t seem to peel away or disconnect from each other whether family, friend, foe, or acquaintance lest we risk madness.
    The idea of impartial or objective self definition introduces a paradox as well. Considering cultural/ societal constructs are defined only by a select few of opinion leaders and then propagated by the many aimless, how profound could an individual’s journey. Boss Gass shares his classification of friends, which includes the seemingly good and bad types of friends. Ultimately his explanation leads to the possible conclusion that regardless the type of friend, influence is inevitable and a factor is and individual’s construct and execution of goals.
    Unfortunately in some cases if not most, choice is grossly limited and autonomy becomes the best likely option. But before we shoot for the moon in hopes of landing among stars, should we consider if the desolate stars are worth the nonsupportive, fat ass, unemployed, always askin’ fa money or using ya tings without askin’, unreliable family and friends?

  2. hado says:

    i like what was said as a Congo Rastafarian i defiantly know what its like when the whole world turns against u simply because of u taking a different path that they cant quite comprehend simply because its not the status-co. however i find that it is better to find your own way in life than to follow,even if u had seen the way in another after learning from there influence u must still find your own way.u cannot go threw life learning with your own understanding u must also learn from those with experience so u can bypass mistake that they may have had…in the end u must follow your dreams and make your own mistakes which u will learn and grow stronger from regardless of whatever ties u have to people,because just like u they live there own lives and have there own purpose to serve.and always remember as a child of the universe you are always in the right place at the right time.

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